Skirting with disaster…

I was challenged to write a HUMOR POEM. Here’s what I came up with:

Ladies like to wear fine clothes,
designer brands- cashmeres;
I used to wear some skirts and such,
But not for twenty years.

One day I wore a skirt to work,
Maroon and paisley in design,
‘Twas the last skirt I ever wore,
After I showed off my behind!

It was after lunch when a student said,
“Miss C your panties show!”
“My skirt is fine” I chuckled back,
To this fair Pinocchio.

She wouldn’t stop, she flailed her hands,
“Miss C, the back is open free!”
I spun my skirt around and found-
I could not disagree!

The whole back panel of this cursed skirt,
Had vanished from behind,
I quickly gathered what was left
To appear a bit refined.

I sped to my neighbor’s classroom door,
To ask her to watch my class-
She asked me why and I briefly whispered,
“I’ve got to cover my ass!”

Her class looked up as their teacher agreed,
To help me out of my rut,
And one kid said, as I walked out,
“Today at lunch we saw her butt!”

So all day long, my derriere
Was exposed for all to see,
My underwear, in its purple glory
Was footloose and fancy free.

I’ve never worn a skirt again,
In fact I gave them all away,
And that was the last glimpse they ever got
of my posterior that day.

-Heidi Campbell